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i dont want to be awake anymore.

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boy u arent gonna be alive anymore and what if satan is real huh what then

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at least you can do a lot of homework

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i cant even think straight at this point there is no homework happening ever.
i have been watching cat videos on youtube for the past seven hours.
i think i might be watching the same ones again and again but i don't remember.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvMssEgp1ko have u seen this one yet

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oh my fucking god thats wonderful that silly cat hahaahahahahaaahfuck i dont remember

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maybe you should go to therapy

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here's the constant theme of my life:
with what money.

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theres free therapy programs my school even has one

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my dad will fucking murder me if he finds out i went to therapy.
or if he finds out i havent been sleeping.

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why would yr dad murder you for having and/or fixing problems beyond your control

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i realiez yr dad is a sore subject but that sounds kinda skeevy

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yeeeeah.
he's just
like he really really wants the super normal middle-class life.
and anything outside of that is unforgivable apparently.
you know, he works for thunder-- the apparent bad guys????
i told him his company is shit and he needs a new job but he just said i was crazy.

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tbh ive been avoiding that shit like crazy whether or not i believe this shit i dont doubt something skeevy is going on with the cops and that company and i dont want any fuckin part in it

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honestly?? that's completely legit.
i'd do the same if i could.

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why cant you

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idk.
i guess i feel
responsible???
like if something happened, i'd feel like i could have done some shit or whatever.
even if i couldn't.
like when that mine collapsed? i jumped out a fucking window at school, ran to my dad's work to steal his car, and went to bail people out without even thinking about that shit.
it was a dumbfuck move.
dumbest fucking move in the whole world.
the baddies were probably watching and now know my face and car, and i'm probably going to get horribly executed at some point.
but i didnt even think of that until a week or so after, and even now.
like what the fuck what else was i supposed to do???

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wow

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thats pretty legit of you tho ngl

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i mean yeah theres a high chance of people knowing shit about you now but most people wouldnt care youre like a highschooler most kids wouldnt leave their parents house to buy a bag of chips much less jump out of a school window to save peoples lives

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tbh if youve taken a sociology class youll know that theres a lot of adults who wouldnt do that either its some stupid rubbernecker syndrome people got

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not that im saying its not shitty but i guess its a shitty situation for a good reason esp if you consider youve legit saved lives

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and i guess since you know where i live you can hide under my bed if you ever need to ive got a grade a new york like fire escape just promise not to like break the window and give yourself a heart attack ok

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thanks for the offer, but nah.
because plot twist, that'd be dragging you into shit, which is exactly what you don't want.
i'm not going to get other people fucked up because i decided to be a shittyass wanna-be jesustears hero.

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dude did you listen to anything i just said